Amor fati
by Emyss
Summary: When someone from Sully's past unexpectedly shows up in town, he asks Michaela to play his wife...  Take place between seasons 1 and 2.
1. Chapter 1

**Amor fati**

_Amor fati means Love your destiny. This fiction was written on hypnoweb, a French forum which deals with TV shows, by Dodie. I'm not the author, just the translator._

_English is not my native tongue so please, be indulgent._

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><p>It was an ordinary day in Colorado Springs, the children were at school, and most people were waiting for the stage to arrive. Horace was waiting for the mail, Loren some merchandises, Hank his whisky and Michaela her medical supplies.<p>

Michaela was walking to the stage which has just arrived and crossed Sully in the main road. He offered his help to carry all her packages. On their way to the stage, he noticed she looked a bit tired and Mike explained that all the recovery rooms in the clinic were busy. There was no epidemic but several people were unwell and the doctor she was wanted to keep them close to her.

They fought their way to collect the packages while an older woman got off the stage. She seemed a little lost and disoriented. Nobody seemed to know her and she didn't know anybody, but with all the people around her, she started to struggle for air and before fainting, hoped somebody would catch her. Hank saw her falling and caught her just before a fragile body hit the floor.

"Dr Mike! There's someone for you!"

Michaela gave all her packages to Sully and ran to the lady

"Hank, do you know her? Take her to the clinic so I can examine her!"

Hank shook his head in answer and followed Michaela to the clinic. Sully was behind them with all the supplies.

Michaela opened the door and Hank put the old lady, still unconscious, on the table.

"You don't need me anymore, I'm going. Got a business to run!"

Michaela looked up with a small smile and thanked him.

She focused on her patient who was slowly waking up while Sully was finally dropping all the packages on her desk.

"She's gonna be alright?"

"Byron Sully? Is that you?"

Sully turned to see who was calling him by his first name. He wasn't prepared for what he saw. When he recognized the old lady, his face showed joy and fear at the same time and his eyes filled with tears.

"Katherine McBride, no that's impossible, it can't be you, I must be dreaming!"

Katherine held her arms out and Sully immediately came into her embrace, just like a child would with its mother.

Michaela had stayed behind, witnessing this reunion. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She didn't know anything about their history but seeing Sully like this touched her very much.

Katherine backed up to look at Sully's face.

"My, you're handsome! You already were a beautiful little boy but my…if I was 35 or 40 years younger, I would totally be on you!"

The three of them smiled at this last comment.

"But I think a certain person wouldn't let me!" She added looking at Michaela but the doctor didn't pay attention to it.

"I find you beautiful and you know you'll always have a special place in my heart!" answered Sully.

They stayed a moment in silence, just looking at each other.

Then Sully asked: "Katherine, why did you come here, the trip from New York must be terribly long and tiring!"

"I came because I'm getting older and I wanted to see you one last time, see how your life out west was, meet your family. You said so little in your letters that I wanted to meet them in person."

Sully kept smiling but internally, he wanted to cry and run away. He had to react and quickly. His stomach was hurting and he was sure that being stabbed would be less painful. Drops of swear were rolling down his brow and his brain was boiling. What should he do, what could he do?

He didn't have time to open his mouth that Mrs. McBride asked: "Is she Michaela?"


	2. Chapter 2

Michaela made a step forward, surprised that the old lady knew who she was. She extended her hand and Katherine took it but draw Mike into her embrace. While she was hugging the young doctor, she whispered in her ear: "I hope you're taking good care of him!"

Then she turned to Sully: "You're very lucky. When you wrote she was beautiful, it was far from the truth. You should have said she was gorgeous! When I read she was a doctor, I wondered what kind of woman she could be and I thought she was a little tomboy. But when I see her, she's indeed a lovely young woman!"

Sully was red with embarrassment. He knew how it was going to end, but he had to talk to Michaela before Katherine says the surprising news.

Michaela was puzzled. So Sully had written to this lady he found her beautiful. He had never told her anything like this nor showed any interest, except the kiss he gave her on her birthday.

Sully spoke again thinking he should shorten the conversation between the two women. He first needed to talk with Michaela. He was sure she would yell at him but he knew her. So he knew that if he told her it was for the good of an older person, with a fragile heart, she would accept to put on an act just for a short time.

"Michaela, I'm sorry, I should have told you who she was"

The young lady looked at Sully with her eyes full of questions. He had just called her Michaela.

"This is Katherine McBride. She lives in New York and when my mother died and I found myself alone, I started seeing some "rascals" and doing stupid things. One day, I tried to steal this lady's purse. At that time she was a young woman and didn't let it go. I fall backward and hit my head and fainted. Instead of leaving me there, she called a carriage, brought me to the hospital and paid for my medical care."

He now had tears in his eyes and some were rolling down his cheeks.

"When I woke up, I didn't know where I was. When I saw her, I wondered what she possibly would do to me. But she didn't yell at me nor corrected me the way I deserved. She just asked me how I got where I was and until the day I left New York, she was my lucky star. I visited her twice a week to help her and she gave me food and warm clothes in return. When I left, she made me promise to write regularly so she knew how I was doing. And today, here she is."

Michaela was deeply touched by Sully, who usually didn't talk about his past. He just has shared a part of his childhood and she was glad.

Katherine wanted to go on but was stopped by the ring of the bell, which meant a patient was waiting. Sully thanked God for that, He just has saved his life for at least 20 minutes.

Dr Mike took the time to make a final examination before letting Katherine go with Sully. Just before leaving, he whispered to her: "I need to talk to you, alone".

Michaela nodded and invite her patient in.

In the meantime, Sully had taken Katherine to Grace's Café and ordered a slice of apple pie. They talked about New York, the changes that occurred in 23 years and Sully wondered if we would ever go back there.

After that, he excused himself, explaining he had to see Michaela. The old lady offered to stay in the café waiting for his return.

Michaela was waiting for Sully in the clinic. She was filling in some files but was thinking of what Sully could possibly want to tell her and why he had called her Michaela and not Dr Mike like everybody in town. A knock at the door brought her back to reality. "Come in". But nobody opened the door. She got up to open only to reveal Sully, who usually came in without waiting for her to open the door.

He seemed embarrassed.

He had searched how to explain the situation to Michaela, but he didn't find any solution. He had to tell her or Katherine would. He didn't know how the townfolks would react either. For them, he was a savage and now he would be a liar. Michaela would never understand even less forgive him.

Mike was worried. Sully had made two steps forward but he was now standing still. He seemed miles away. She took his hand to catch his attention: "Sully? Are you alright?"

Feeling Michaela's hand, Sully came back from his reverie and shyly asked: "Dr Mike, would you sit down so we can talk?"

She went to her chair and indicated him to sit down in front of her. He was glad to sit down as his knees were growing weak.

"Dr Mike, I need to talk to you, but what I wanna tell you is difficult, I don't know how to start but please, listen to me until I'm finished."

She was more and more curious. "Alright, I'm listening"

"You just met Mrs Katherine McBride, she was kinda a second mother for me and I owe her a lot. But she really wanted me to build a family and find happiness again after Abagail's death. In all of her letters, she kept asking questions about my life, women, future…and I finally told her that I got married again."

Sully stopped a moment and looked at Michaela for her reaction. She was waiting for him to continue. Inside her, she couldn't help smiling at the comical situation he was into. How was he going to play a married man while he was living alone in the woods?

Sully spoke again but looked down. He couldn't look into her eyes.

"I told her I was married to… to the town's doctor."


	3. Chapter 3

Michaela's eyes widened at this confession.

"You…you told her you were married to the doctor, but I am the doctor"

Sully looked up to see her face: "Yes, you're the doctor. I told her I married you"

Michaela got up and went to the window. She couldn't stay still. She was not angry like he expected her to be but he couldn't say she was alright with this news.

She wanted to answer but she couldn't speak. "You told Mrs McBride we were married? But why?"

He couldn't be totally honest with her about that "I'm sorry, she kept asking questions about my life, she didn't understand my life with the cheyennes and said she wouldn't be happy if I didn't start a new life. She said I deserved to be happy and never stopped telling me a man had to be married to be happy.

Eventually, I decided to tell her I got married again so she would stop fussing about my love life. But in her following letters, she asked about my wife and since I… since I like you, I chose to talk about you… I didn't think there're ever would have consequences. I never imagined she would cross half the country just to see me."

Michaela, who had been pacing in the room during his explanations, came back to her chair and sat down but stayed silent. He liked her, and of all the women he knew, he had chosen her to be his wife in his letters. She was happy about that, but on the other hand, he had lied to her. And what could they say to Katherine, they couldn't lie to her, and everybody in town knew everybody.

Michaela looked at Sully and asked coldly: "And do you want to do now?"

Sully was red with shame and answered with tears in his eyes "I don't know"

Michaela went on with the same cold tone: "What are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know"

Then, he raised his head and say shyly: "I know what we could do, but I'm afraid you won't be happy with that and refuse!"

"Tell me" she answered, curious.

"We could play on an act, just the time she's here, we could act as if we were married?"

His eyes were full of pain and sadness. No one could have said no to him.

She was troubled by his look but didn't want to succumb so easily.

"Sully, you want us to act as if we were married but it will never work, the town is too small. Everybody knows we're not. One time or another, someone will reveal the truth and we'll be ashamed in front of the whole town!"

"I know, I've been thinking the same, but we have to find something. We can't tell her we're not married. She just arrived and had a very long trip. She's fragile. Imagine the shock if she discovered we're not together!"

Michaela waited. She didn't want to accept too quickly. "We,we, we, you keep saying we but you're the one who's guilty, you should be the one to fix this! But you're right, she crossed half the country to see us. If you tell her the truth, I'm afraid her heart may not react well. I agree to help you but we have to find a solution to our problems."

Sully was relieved. He knew she had a big heart but he had feared her reaction. He was aware he was asking a lot. He looked into her eyes and said: "Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. From now on, and for the rest of my life, you can ask me what you want, when you want! I'll be there for you!"

After a moment, he asked: "What do we do for the townfolks? Should we tell them or hide the situation?"

"I think it would be easier to tell them or someone will eventually say something. But how? We're not going to put an ad at Mr Bray's!"

Sully smiled at this last comment. No, I think we should let them know at the meeting tonight. I know it's not about the town but it's the only moment where we can gather a maximum of people."

Michaela realized that the entire town was going to be in the confidence. "My God Sully, what will are we going to think about us! But I think that's the best solution."

"For this problem, yes, but there's another one. Where will she stay? I don't want her to stay at Hank's"

"She can stay here, at the clinic. This way, we won't have…well…to sleep together."

Sully was happy with this outcome. "Excellent idea! We have to let the children know about that but I don't think they'll mind"

"Yes, especially Brian who dreams to have a real family, he's going to have it for a few days."

They left the clinic and walked to the restaurant. They had agreed to use her first name and walk close to each other. When they arrived to the café, Sully saw it was empty. Grace was cooking and only Katherine was sitting at a table. He took the opportunity to take her hand in his. When she felt his fingers, her heart skipped a beat. After seeing they were alone, she relaxed a bit and they sat with Katherine.


	4. Chapter 4

Mrs McBride didn't suspect anything. She only saw a beautiful couple, a man who was handsome, tall and nice and a woman, beautiful, with a slight East accent. They looked really great together, the looks they shared were full of respect, wonder and affection.

They talked a long time, mostly about Katherine, it was more comfortable for both of them.

When Katherine finished talking, Sully said; "unfortunately, the house isn't s big so we can't lodge you. Are you alright to sleep in the clinic?"

Katherine was confused, she didn't want to impose herself. "Don't be sorry, I'm the one who's sorry. I came without telling you, the clinic will be just fine. I don't want t be a burden and…"

She didn't have the time to finish her sentence because Michaela interrupted her, remembering a small detail. "You…you can't sleep in the clinic"

Sully and Katherine looked at her quizzically.

Michaela was embarrassed: "I'm sorry but all the rooms are busy, I had forgotten about it. I can't dismiss a patient to free a room for you, I hope you understand."

Katherine realized she was the source of a problem. "Of course I understand, is there a hotel where I could go?"

Sully refused she went to the saloon." I'm afraid not and I won't let the woman I consider like my second mother go to the saloon"

Michaela agreed with Sully: "You'll come home with us, we'll find something about the sleeping arrangements"

"I don't want to impose myself, I came without telling anybody, I forgot about the good manners, I'm sorry"

Michaela put her hand on Katherine's and smiled at her to make her understand that everything was alright.

After lunch, Michaela went back to the clinic while Sully took Katherine to visit the town.

When Colleen and Brian finished school, they were surprised to see their ma waiting fr them.

"Hey, Ma, what are you doing here? I'm glad you came to fetch us!"

"Me too" Colleen added.

"I…I have something to tell you". She took Colleen by the arm and Brian by the hand.

Colleen was curious. "What do you want to talk about?"

Michaela didn't know where to start. "Let's sit down, I'll explain"

She told them about Sully's story and explained how they would have to play an act. The children were amused by the situation and had accepted immediately. They were overjoyed. They loved Sully, he was the father they never had so act as if he really was wouldn't be too hard.

Michaela asked them to tell Matthew. She had to join Sully and go to the meeting.

During the meeting, Michaela had listened the different subjects with a small interest. The knot in her stomach was growing bigger every minute. She didn't feel up to explain the trickery to everybody. Sully's eyes were fixed on her.

When Jake closed the meeting and everybody started to stand up, Michaela stood up as well: "Please, Sully and I have something to tell you, could we have your attention for a few more minutes?"

Everybody sat down, wondering what they could possibly have to say. Probably something about the Cheyennes. Sully had joined Michaela on the stage and explained everything: the letters and the lie about the fake couple they agreed to play.

Eveverybody start talking at the same time. Some people were laughing, others were making rough comments. But Hank didn't react. The "couple" had thought he would be the first to make fun of them but surprisingly, he seemed rather calm.

Michaela and Sully didn't know what to do, they couldn't force the town to act like that, they should have known better!

To everybody's surprise, Hank stood up and spoke up: "Silence please!"

Michaela and Sully turned to Hank. He was finally going to mock them.

"Michaela and Sully asked you something and I think that I they dared to, there must be a good reason. They're not the kind of persons who ask easily for help so if we can help them for once, I think we should do it now!"

Everybody sat, mouth agape, very surprised that the Saloon's tenant was on their side without asking anything in return.

Hank continued: "So, those who agree to help them raise their hand!"

He was the first to do so, then Robert E and Grace, and finally Loren, Jake and the whole town.

Michaela and Sully thanked everybody and the townfolks left the church.

Sully followed Loren to ask him a ring. Michaela didn't want him to spend money for it but Sully had insisted to buy her a golden ring. "A bride must wear a wedding ring" he had said.

When the little family arrived home, the boys took care of the horses and Michaela and Colleen started the dinner. Mrs McBride used this time to take a bath and rest after her long journey.

The dinner was served and enjoyed. Indeed, Colleen was here to help Michaela.

But the sleeping arrangements hadn't been discussed yet.

Michaela offered the easiest solution: "Please Mrs McBride, take my…our bed, we can sleep in the barn, don't worry about us." This way, they wouldn't have to sleep together.

Katherine was embarrassed: "No, I don't want you to sleep in the barn, a woman from Boston shouldn't sleep in a barn"

Brian, too happy to maybe sleep in the barn said: "I can sleep in the barn, I'm a man and this way Ma can sleep in my bed"

Sully was relieved by this idea, he didn't want to bother Michaela: "Good idea"

Brian was proud of his idea and mainly happy to have Sully's approval to sleep in the barn with Matthew: "Thanks Pa"

He had often dreamt to be able to say Pa to Sully and now he could.

Sully was touched and smiled to thank him.

Katherine was still embarrassed and offered the solution which would make everyone happy.

"I know! I'll sleep in Brian's bed and you two will keep your bed. I don't want to take you apart for several nights".

At this unexpected proposition, Michaela nearly choked with her bread and got all red. The children had big smiles on their faces, mostly Matthew who wanted to turn the knife in the wound, but refrained himself so he wouldn't embarrass his mother and "father" in front of a stranger.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner, everybody sat down near the fire, the grownups drinking their coffee. Michaela and Katherine were sitting in the armchairs and the children on the floor, their backs to the fire to see the adults. But Sully didn't know where to sit. He first had wanted to stay up, behind Michaela's chair, but there, he couldn't help staring at her neckline. Then, he had wanted to sit on the arm of the chair, but he had realized it wouldn't hold his weight so he finally sat down on the floor, in front of Michaela.

Katherine, who wanted to learn more about the couple, asked: "Michaela, Sully, may I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course" answered both Mike and Sully.

"Tell me your story. Sully remained vague on the subject and I know him enough to be aware that he doesn't like talking about him; but I'm an old lady and I'm curious…"

Michaela and Sully looked at each other. They hadn't seen that coming. The children watched their mother with big smiles, wondering what she could answer.

Sully spoke: "Michaela arrived in Colorado Springs last year and after Charlotte's death, she took the children in and I got closer to the family."

Michaela was watching Sully and was wondering if he would add something, and if he did, what he would say.

Katherine became more curious: "I see, but when did you realize that…, I mean, when did you start courting?"

Sully turned to Michaela and took her hand in his so his friend wouldn't see it trembling.

"We became closer naturally, and the children helped us, mostly Brian"

Michaela's smile grew bigger. She had feelings for this man and having his hand on hers didn't upset her, on the contrary. But she knew it was only a lure.

She was relieved that Sully gave a vague answer. It was still believable, two people could become closer without difficulties.

They tuned t Katherine when she asked: "And when did you kiss for the first time?"

"We…we…" Sully didn't find his words, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her they had kissed on her birthday, no one knew, it was their secret. Plus, at this time they were supposed to be already married.

Michaela turned her hand in Sully's t give him a gentle squeeze and said: "We were talking outside like every night and when Sully left, he intended to give me a kiss on my cheek but I turned my head slightly and he kissed me on the corner of the mouth. Then, we knew. We knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together…"

She had kept her look on Sully's eyes when she said that, they were both emotive.

The children were surprised, this story sounded so real that they wanted it to become true.

Katherine was satisfied by these answers. She had no doubt, they were very much in love; a deep and simple love. Their looks didn't lie. She was happy that the child she had known, loved and protected, had now found happiness with a wife and children. This house was full of love, she could feel it.

It was getting late and everybody was tired. Brian was excited to be allowed to sleep in the barn with his brother. Colleen and Michaela prepared a bed for Katherine who immediately fell asleep, exhausted by her long journey. The children turned in as well and said good night to their "parents" with big teasing smiles.

"What do we do?" whispered Sully.

"Why do you want us to do?" asked a puzzled Michaela.

"Err, I don't know, but I mean…we can't sleep in the same bed, it wouldn't be right" answered Sully, embarrassed.

"You're right, it wouldn't be proper, but what else do you want to do? What if she gets up during the night and discovers I'm alone in the bed? She wouldn't understand"

Sully was surprised: "You…you want me to share your bed?"

Michaela was also surprised by what she had proposed:" I don't think we have choice. But promise me to behave! We're only pretending to be married, remember!"

Sully, amused by his "wife's" declaration: "Thank you Michaela, you're the most extraordinary woman I know. I promise you to behave!"

Then Michaela put her nightgown on behind the screen. She chose the biggest and thickest gown she could find. This way, Sully couldn't see her figure. He had kept his pants on but had taken his shirt away. When Michaela emerged from behind the screen, she saw Sully sited on the bed, bare chest with the cover up to his waist.

She seriously asked: "Are you…are you wearing something underneath?"

The young man looked at her with surprise but understood the question: "Yes of course Michaela, I'm wearing my pants. I just can't sleep with covers over my clothes so I took my shirt off to be more comfortable. But I can put it on it you prefer."

"No it's fine, it will be more realistic if Mrs McBride wakes up during the night."

Michaela sneak under the covers and lay down at the edge of the bed to be sure they wouldn't touch. They turned the lights down and said good night but none of them fell asleep. Sully wasn't used to sleep in a bed anymore and he found the mattress too soft. Michaela didn't want to sleep. She feared to move during the night and touch Sully.


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry, the author didn't write anything about how they woke up on this first morning together._

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><p>The townfolks had been perfectly playing their role for now two weeks so that it was normal for them to consider Michaela and Sully as a real couple. They were so nice together and nobody missed their looks.<p>

Before Mrs McBride arrived, some of them had already witnessed some looks they had shared, and now, it wasn't difficult to see that a real love was blossoming.

Michaela was more and more tired. She couldn't get to sleep soundly and peacefully, she was afraid of what she could do or say during her sleep. She didn't eat right either.

She had wanted to be as natural as possible but this situation which she had fun with during the first two days was now weighing on her. She was wondering when Katherine would leave.

Nevertheless, she must admit that Sully was an angel to her. He behaved as promised, he was helping her the best he could and was here for her when she needed.

This morning, Michaela was sick. Her monthly had come and her stomach hurt. Plus, she lacked sleep and got tired more easily. This hasn't gone unnoticed by anyone, especially Katherine.

The old lady was in Grace's restaurant. Michaela and Sully were supposed to meet her for lunch but they were late. When she saw Katherine was still alone at the table after half an hour, Grace came to offer: "Do you want me to get your order or you want to wait for them?"

Katherine didn't mind a little chat and said: "I'll wait, they went to reservation. They must have been delayed or they stopped somewhere to be alone. Living with three kids is not easy, but when an old lady gets between them…"

Grace didn't answer but smiled at these reflections.

Katherine continued: "I think they'll arrive soon. Michaela has to eat properly now"

At this last comment, Grace became curious and asked: "What do you mean Michaela has to eat properly now?"

Katherine grinned and said softly: "I shouldn't say it, but the secret is too hard to keep. I'm sure there's a little Sully on the way…"

Grace took a seat and asked: "What's making you say that?"

Katherine answered, not aware of the curious ears around her: "Michaela has been tired for several days, she doesn't eat properly and this morning, she had a stomachache, I think this is morning sickness starting"

Grace was smiling from ear to ear. She didn't know what to say. She stood up and said: "We'll see. The future will tell!"

Loren and Jake, who were sitting close, had heard the conversation. They were jubilating! They were nearly forced to play this comedy and now, they could have some fun with this news. Michaela pregnant with Sully's child when they were not married… They got up and left the coffee.

They were in the middle of the street when the crossed the couple, walking side by side. They seemed to have an interesting conversation. They were walking to the coffee to meet Katherine and they were late.

When they were at the same level, Jake and Loren stopped: "Congratulations…"

Michaela and Sully stopped as well with integrative looks. Michaela asked, with a curious smile on her lips: "Thank you, but for what?"

Jake was ecstatic about the situation. "Congratulations for the happy event…"

Michaela and Sully shared a look full of questions and she asked, afraid of the answer: "What happy event, what are you talking about?"

Jake, pleased with himself: "We can say you didn't lose time! You've been playing the perfect couple for two weeks and Michaela is already pregnant!"

Michaela couldn't believe her ears: "I am what? But who told you such an absurdity? You didn't believe it, did you?"

Loren was having a lot of fun but was more respectful: "We heard that and it's not surprising. By playing lovebirds, you can get your wings burned. But don't worry, you're not the first to whom it happens. I think we'll attend to a wedding very soon!"

Jake added with a slightly contemptuous air: "Yes, but the bride can't wear a white dress. She's pregnant so not a virgin anymore!"

Sully was starting to boil inside. He had closed his fists. He should have known that playing the married couple would bring consequences.

Loren was aware of his intern turmoil: "Jake, shut up!"

The barber looked at the old man and then Sully and understood it was better to stay silent.

Sully regained his composure. "Michaela is not pregnant, so please stop propagating this news, which isn't correct. And who told you that?"

Loren looked at Michaela then Sully: "Your guest told Grace"

Michaela was amazed: "Mrs McBride! She's the one who said that? But why? "

Loren wasn't sure of what he should say or not: "She noticed some symptoms"

"Symptoms? But what symptoms?"

Jake listed: "Tiredness, lack of appetite, nausea"

Michaela glanced at Sully with a smile barely perceptible, but he clearly saw it, and said: "Jake, Loren, I am not pregnant, I can assure you! Now, would you please excuse us, we have to talk to someone before she informs the whole town about this false news"

The couple left the men and went to the coffee where they met Grace who came to them. "Congratulations" she shyly said.

"Grace, I…" she didn't have time to finish her sentence as Grace continued: "Your friend told me the good news. You know, when you play married people and share the same bed every nights, things happen… but you're so beautiful and harmonious together! I wonder why you waited for an old acquaintance to come to finally start courting"

Michaela and Sully looked at each other. They both knew they loved each other but neither had confessed it to the other.

Sully finally spoke: "Grace, listen to us please. Michaela is not pregnant. Katherine thought she was but she isn't. She noticed some signs that were only due to tiredness.

Grace wasn't convinced: "You're sure? You know, sometimes parents don't realize they're expecting"

Michaela felt obliged to argue: "Yes, we're sure I'm not expecting. Grace, we're not married, we're just playing this comedy during Mrs McBride's stay in Colorado Springs. As soon as she leaves the town, we'll go back to our lives"

When saying this, Michaela realized that she would live alone with the children again very soon. She had gotten used to have a helpful man at home, a father figure, a friend to whom she could have adult talks at nights. She was going to miss that, but she couldn't keep him.

Sully also realized he would soon leave the homestead. He enjoyed living there and he liked playing Michaela's husband and being the children's father. He had a loving family and the comfort of a real house. He now enjoyed sleeping in a soft bed beside the most beautiful woman he ever saw. Of course, he hadn't touched her, he dared not. Even during his sleep, he tried to stay still so as not to bother Michaela.

Grace seemed almost disappointed for her friends. She was so in the comedy everybody was playing that she had wanted this to be true. She had seen the looks her friends shared when they said they would go back to their normal lives soon. They were both saddened by this idea. Grace smiled and ended the conversation: "If you say so…"

Michaela and Sully walked to Katherine's table and sat. During the lunch, they explained that Michaela wasn't pregnant. The old lady seemed disappointed as well.

Michaela and Sully were surprised to discover that it seemed everybody wanted her to be pregnant. Nor Loren or Grace had sounded shocked or annoyed by this news. Everybody appeared to be almost happy whereas they were not married. Even Jake, who was amused by this situation, hadn't made a real unpleasant remark.

They ate their lunch, once more side by side, searching for the other's look. Their hands brushed softly. They both knew the other represented now an important part in their heart. But maybe the other didn't feel anything and was just playing, maybe nothing will ever happen between them and they would be apart very soon.


	7. Chapter 7

This night, everybody was in bed. Michaela didn't have the time to do the laundry so she didn't have any nightgown big enough left. She had to wear a lighter one, knee length with thin straps and thin fabric.

When Sully saw her, he couldn't look away and she was all red. She shyly looked up and crossed Sully's glance. She knew he was eying her intently. "I…I'm sorry, I don't have any nightgown left, I didn't have time to do the laundry"

He was looking at her, smiling. She was sorry, he wasn't. God, she was so beautiful. There was no way he could get any sleep with a woman like this at his side.

Michaela walked shyly to the bed and lay down as far from him as she could.

The lights were turned off and they both were trying to get some sleep, but like all the other nights, they couldn't. Michaela turned to the other side and saw that Sully wasn't sleeping either.

"You can't sleep?" she asked.

Sully looked at his "wife". "No, I was thinking about today, how everybody congratulated us for the baby."

Michaela smiled at this. "Yes, it was kind of funny; did you notice that nobody blamed us for that?"

Sully thought back to the people who had congratulated them: "Yes, people even seemed happy for us! Michaela, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course"

"Do you want children? I mean if you get married, would you like to have more children?" Sully asked shyly.

Michaela answered, embarrassed and happy at the same time that Sully asked her a so personal question: "I guess I would, I love Charlotte's children as if they were mine, but I'd like to feel all the sensations when you carry a child during nine months, the pains when you give birth, the sensations you have when you feel it moving, growing inside of you. I'm a doctor and I know how a pregnancy progress according to my books but living it must be so different!"

She couldn't believe she had said all of this! She could just have answered "yes". But when she was with Sully, she felt safe and knew she could tell him anything, even personal. But they were going to separate and Sully would certainly see her like he did before, just a friend…

Sully was satisfied by Michaela's answer. He was happy she had talked to him so freely.

Michaela shivered and suppressed a yawn. Sully noticed and whispered: "You cold?"

"A little, but I'm fine"

Sully was worried about her health: "You should sleep!"

Michaela was more and more distraught about her insomnia: "I wish I could, but I can't"

Sully was confused: "I'm sorry, it's my fault! It's my fault if we have to sleep together and that keeps you awake."

Michaela didn't resent him at all: "It's ok, I think I'm just a bit tensed. I should drink an infusion before going to bed to relax."

Sully wanted to offer something but he was afraid of her reaction: "I…I could massage you, I'm kinda good at it"

Michaela's mind drifted to her upbringing: "No Sully, I couldn't ask you that!"

Actually she was dying to say "Yes!"

Sully begged: "Please Michaela, you're not asking, I'm offering! It's my way to repay you for what you're doing. And don't forget, I owe you for life, you can ask me what you want, when you want!"

Michaela gave up: "Well, if you insist…"

Sully was pleased with himself. He was sitting up when Michaela asked: "How do you want me to settle?"

He was a bit shamefaced: "I…I don't know, what kind of massage do you want? I can massage your back, shoulders and neck"

Michaela was becoming more and more puzzled. She was wondering how it was going to end. She trusted Sully, he never had any inappropriate gesture. But she was sure if she could trust herself. Deep down, they were a man and a woman in the same bed…

"I think we'll just do the neck and the shoulders" she answered.

Sully grinned and whispered in her ear: "I think it's wiser…"

She couldn't help blushing at this last "embarrassing" comment. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all!

"Sit down, I'll sit behind you, this way you can relax."

Michaela didn't really understand what Sully expected from her, so she just sat down. It's only when he pulled her back so she was now resting between his legs and against his chest that she realized how they were settled.

Sully felt her tense more: "Relax, there's nothing to be afraid of, I promise I'll behave! I just want you to relax so you can sleep a bit this night."

Michaela breathed deeply and tried to relax. Sully's massage was tender, gentle and wonderfully relaxing. She was so exhausted by all her last sleepless nights that she dozed off without realizing it.

Sully felt her relax and lean against him. When he was she was asleep, he continued his soft massage for a little while and fell asleep after a few minutes.

The next morning, Katherine had decided to get up early so she could have a bath. When she entered the main room, she saw Michaela asleep in Sully's arms. They were so beautiful together, so close and they looked rested. Katherine left, smiling.

Michaela, who hadn't been able to sleep soundly for the past two weeks, seemed to never want to wake up. Sully was dreaming, a beautiful dream. He was holding a wonderful woman, the woman he was in love with and he couldn't wake up and stop this extraordinary moment.

The children were awake and got up. They grinned when they discovered their parents and Brian asked: "You think Ma and Sully are getting married for real?"

No one answered but the little boy could say, by looking in his siblings' eyes that they wanted it to happen.

Colleen started breakfast when the "couple" woke up.

Michaela was feeling well-rested, she hadn't realized yet that Sully was lying behind her and was holding her tightly. She stretched and that's when she saw Sully, still asleep. When she looked up, she saw the children, and understood they had seen them sleeping in each others' arms.

She was embarrassed and took Sully's hand to move it away from her waist.

Sully was awakened by her movements. When she took his hand, he realized where it had been resting.

When he opened his eyes, he saw her putting her robe. God she was so beautiful, even if he only saw her back. She was gorgeous, even on the morning, with her hair undone, undressed. He was under a spell.

The children got ready for school, but didn't give any weird look to their parents. On the contrary, an atmosphere of well being was floating in the homestead.

They ate their breakfast and left for town.


	8. Chapter 8

Colleen and Brian went to school, Matthew to see Ingrid, Michaela to the Clinic and Sully took Katherine to the reservation to visit his Indian friends. The old lady dreamt to meet them, she had read so many stories about them and read so different things in Sully's letters. She wanted to make her own mind.

At the end of the morning, they came back in town to have lunch with Michaela. Sully stopped the wagon in front of the clinic and help Katherine down.

"Thank you Sully, this visit was wonderful"

"You're welcome, I was glad to take you, and Cloud Dancing appreciates to see that all the whites don't have prejudices."

"I'm going to book a table at Grace's, I'll wait for you there. Go fetch Michaela and take your time, you probably need time alone… I apologize, because of me you don't see each other as much as you did before I arrived"

Sully was embarrassed and blushed a little: "Thanks Katherine, we need to talk, we'll join you in a few minutes."

Katherine left and Sully knocked at the clinic door. He entered when he heard Michaela say "come in". He didn't know what to say, they didn't have time to talk about the previous night. They didn't even have the time to look at each other to see if there were any anger or reproach in the other's eyes. Sully was a little afraid of Michaela's reaction, he knew she didn't appreciate public demonstrations and in this case, it was clear the children and Katherine had seen…

Michaela was cleaning her instruments, she was focused on her task and wasn't angry at Sully. She didn't even think he was angry at himself. She had slept so peacefully and soundly in his arms… She looked up to see Sully, she had heard him enter and close the door, but after that, nothing.

She saw him, playing nervously with his hands. She was surprised by his behavior, he seemed upset, maybe something had happened!

"Sully, what is it?" she asked, worried.

He looked up, surprised by her tone. She didn't seem upset or angry. He looked at her, she was calm and worried, but not angry at him.

He answered hesitantly: "I … I wanted to apologize…"

She didn't understand: "Apologize? But for what?"

Sully was confused. She really didn't seem to resent him, but he had to be clear: "I apologize for last night, you fell asleep and so did I. And when you woke up this morning, I was…holding you in my arms, I shouldn't have…I'm sorry…"

Michaela couldn't believe him. She was the one who was conventional and she wasn't upset at all. On the contrary, she had to admit she had had the best sleep in his arms, so close to him. But he seemed upset for letting this happen. Her heart was full of love for this man, but she couldn't say or do anything. He had told her he wasn't ready for a relationship.

Michaela looked at him, smiling: "Sully, don't be sorry! I slept like a baby, I hadn't slept well in weeks so don't worry. I'm a little embarrassed the children saw us this morning but I have the feeling they've been wanting it to happen for a while."

Sully took a deep breath, relieved Michaela didn't resent him. He had loved to sleep holding her in his arms. He loved this woman a little more every day. Deep inside, he dreaded the day Katherine would leave, when he would have to go back to his life. He knew he'd miss the kids but mostly Michaela.

He spoke again, more relaxed: "Thanks! Katherine is waiting for us at Grace's, you're ready to go?"

"Yes, I just have a few things to do left, but I'll do it after lunch"

They headed to the restaurant, walking close to each other. They knew they didn't have to, especially because Katherine couldn't see them, but they enjoyed being that close, brushing fingers, watching the other from the corner of the eye, smile at each other…

When they arrived at the Café, Sully took her hand in his and they entwined their fingers.

When they saw this, Grace and RobertE had a big smile on their faces. The blacksmith turned to his wife and said into her ear: "Do you think they know they're made for each other?"

Grace giggled and answered: "I don't know, but I think that thanks to Mrs McBride, they started to realize it. But I'm sure once they'll stop acting, they'll really realize the other count much more than they thought."

The couple sat with the old lady and ordered their lunch. Katherine told Michaela all she discovered at the reservation, her talks with Cloud Dancing and Snow Bird. She was so excited by all she had discovered with Sully. The couple was happy for her, she looked like a child who discovers something new for the first time and is fascinated.

In two weeks, the looks between Mike and Sully were natural, they understood each other without a word. Their eyes were saying much more than they dared to say…

After dessert, Katherine said: "I would like to thank you both and the town for welcoming me, you've been wonderful hosts. Sully, I wanted to say that I'm proud of you and what you became, you deserve happiness with Michaela and the children.

Dr Mike, I wanted to thank you for your hospitality, you welcomed me in the family when you didn't even know me! You have a wonderful family and I can see in your eyes that you love as much as you are loved. I would like to thank you two for showing me how two people can love each other like you do, simply and sincerely."

The young couple had their eyes so full of tears that some rolled down their cheeks. They were deeply touched by the old lady's speech. Sully had put his arm around Michaela's waist to get closer and console her. Mike didn't even realized she snuggled closer to him as well.

Then, Katherine added: "But it's time for me to leave, I've been intruding for more than two weeks now, it's time for me to let you go back to your life together…"

Mike and Sully shared a look, they knew they would have to separate. They knew this moment would come but neither of them had wanted to really think about it.


	9. Chapter 9

_**I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I had a lot to do with finishing school and starting my internship. I'm quite busy but I'll find the time to finish this translation. I'm about half way through this story. I know this chapter is short, but I hope starting updating more often during the summer. **_

"You didn't intrude, we love your company, the children appreciate to have another person at the homestead. I know they like you very much. You can stay with us as long as you want" Said Michaela.

Sully was a bit surprised that Michaela wanted Katherine to stay. Truth is, they were getting along very well but her presence obliged her to play this comedy.

"Michaela's right, you're not a bother. Katherine, you're almost like a Ma for me, we spent nearly 23 years without seeing each other, you can't leave already. Please, stay a little while!"

Katherine's eyes were full of tears, this couple was so wonderful.

"I'd like to stay, but I really don't want to bother you…"

Mike and Sully looked at each other, happy with her decision. They realized they were both happy that Katherine had decided to stay e little longer. Mike thought Sully was happy because she was like a second mum to him, and Sully thought Michaela was happy because she could speak with her like she was her ma. But unconsciously, they both hoped the other was so happy because they could stay "married" a little longer.

After lunch, Michaela went back to the clinic and Katherine asked Sully to bring her back to the homestead so she could rest. Then, he came back in town to help RobertE.

At the homestead, Katherine didn't rest at all! She had prepared something and talked Cloud Dancing about her plan. She was preparing a romantic dinner for the lovebirds. She wanted to thank them for welcoming her with such joy in such a small house. She had put candles and wildflowers.

Cloud Dancing had spoken with Matthew who had picked up his siblings after school and told Michaela she could just go home with Sully.

The clock inside the clinic rang 6pm. Michaela took her shawl and was going to open the door when she heard Sully's steps outside. He was surprised when he saw there was only Michaela. She explained Matthew had picked up the children.

When they arrived at the homestead, they were surprised by the silence. They looked at each other with an interrogative smile, Sully opened the door and let Michaela in. Once inside, they both stood still. The diner was on the table : roastbeef, fresh bread and apple pie. A big bouquet was reigning on the center of the table. Flowers had been tossed in all the room and on the bed…

Then, they saw the letter :

"Michaela, Sully

I took the initiative to give you this romantic dinner to thank you for your hospitality and for all you gave to me. Don't worry about the children and I, we'll spend the night at the reservation. Cloud Dancing and Snowbird were glad to help me once they knew my plan. Enjoy your night. Katherine"

Michaela looked up to see Sully's shining face and asked "What do we do now?"

"I think we should enjoy this dinner! It smells good"


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for updating only now! I just finished school and started my first job. **

Michaela let herself be seduced and headed to the kitchen to bring the plates but Sully stopped her: "No please, sit down and let me do this"

She looked at him and opened her mouth but no sound came out. Sully was looking at her with a sad and pleading glance so she could only give in.

Sully pulled a chair for her and headed to the kitchen to retrieve their dinner. He sat in front of his "wife" from whom he couldn't take his eyes away.

Michaela waited for Sully to sit down and said: "I can't believe the children let Katherine do this!"

If they had said no, she would have become suspicious, and I don't know if you noticed but the children are looking quite happy since we started playing the married couple. I've the feeling they like seeing us together

As soon as he finished his sentence, he wondered if he should have said that. But Michaela smiled and added: "Yes, especially Brian. But everybody in town looks at us differently. I almost have the feeling the forgot we're not married"

They looked at each other, smiled and looked down at their own plate to taste their dinner. They closed their eyes to savor the taste of the food and when they opened them again, they gazed at each other. They smiled, knowing no words were needed to know what the other was thinking.

Sully wanted so much to tell her what he felt but he was only a mountain man with no education. He didn't like talking and had promised to stay faithful to his late wife.

Michaela too was thinking how much she liked Sully, so much more than she wanted to admit. She didn't want Mrs McBride to leave the town, it would mean he would leave too. On the other hand, she knew she was getting more attached to him each day, so the sooner Katherine left, the better.

He had never showed any feelings towards her. After the kissed he gave her on her birthday, he became a lot more distant. How could she believe a man like him could have any interest in her? On the other hand, she was the wife he had pretended to have in the letters he wrote.

They spent the dinner deep in their thoughts, but none of them could share them.

After diner, they didn't want their time together to stop so they tried to find subjects to talk about. Most of them had no interest but they didn't care, they just wanted to stay together. After an hour, they couldn't find anything to talk about, so Sully stood up and head to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Michaela started doing the same but Sully stopped her: " No please ! Let me do this for you"

She didn't want to let Sully alone and couldn't stand to stay inactive, she answered: "Please Sully, let me help you, I can't stand watching you working while I'm resting"

Sully understood he couldn't win so he helped her standing up and kissed her hand in the process. Michaela had a big smile on her face.

They washed the dishes and Sully accidently splashed Michaela. She looked at him with a reproachful look, but he knew her now and knew she was about to burst in laughter. She took a pitcher and splashed Sully as well.

Once they finished, none of them knew what to do. Sully wanted to talk to Michaela about his feelings for her but didn't know how.

- I wanna thank you for your company tonight

- You should thank Katherine, she's the one who cooked

- The meal was delicious, but what I'll remember of this night is spending it alone with you

Michaela smiled at him, she was in heaven, Sully was finally telling her his feelings.

- I enjoyed your company too

Sully wanted to go on, but no words came out of his mouth. Silence was back in the room.

Sully took his jacket and headed to the door. Michaela was surprised at his actions and stopped him: "Sully, where are you going?"

- I…I'm going to sleep in my lean to"

She was blushing, what did she asked that?

Sully noticed and decided to tease her a little: "Why are you bushing?"

Her face was turning redder, she needed to find a plausible answer…"I am not blushing!"

- Yes you do, and quite often

- Fine if you say so, I believe you. But why are you leaving to your lean to? If Katherine and the children come home early in the morning, they will see that I am alone.

Sully wanted to confess his love for her, but he needed to be sure of her feelings first.

- I could come back early so she wouldn't notice.

Michaela was looking for an answer, but nothing "appropriate" came to her mind.

Sully, too, wanted to spend the night with her, and before she answered, he added:

- But if something happened during the night and Katherine came home, she would wonder why I'm not here with you…

Michaela wanted to explode in joy, but contained herself. What her mother would think if she know her daughter had been sharing a bed with a man for more than 2 weeks, even though this man was a perfect gentleman and had never had an inappropriate behavior.

"Yes it would be better, I mean, in case something happened and Katherine came back in the middle of the night…"

Sully smiled, they both knew the reason why they couldn't leave other but were too shy to admit it.


End file.
